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Month 4 On Carb Nite

Posted by jeresk on September 30, 2012 in It's Everybody's Fault I'm Fat |

Ok, and we continue on…  I keep wanting to update this more on a week to week basis, but I just get busy and… Yeah…  Anyway!  It’s funny, often day to day I feel like this just isn’t working – this just isn’t doing what it’s supposed to be doing.  Despite all evidence to the contrary – even with my weight moving down, I catch myself going, “Crap…  Why isn’t this working?”  I know this to be what it is – it’s a reason for me to believe that it isn’t working.  Why would I want to do that?  Because if it isn’t working then I can go back to eating whatever I want.  The thing is though? I don’t mind eating the way I eat on this diet!  It’s fine!  And as I’ve said before, it’s not as difficult to pass up things when I have a craving by saying, “Hmmm, that looks good – I guess I’ll save it for this weekend!”  Easy!  But still?  I self-sabatoge…  But especially when I look at each picture of the month side by side, I realize, I’m really happy with what is going on.

Month 4 On Carb Nite

So what’s up?  It’s not really any different than my other stories – it’s a good reason to fail.  If I fail, then I can blame others.  If I can blame others then I have no problems.  If I have no real problems then everything that happens is everyone else’s fault, and so the cycle runs.

 

I think the big thing is I see so many people that have been on this for 3 or 4 months and now they look “perfect,” (whatever that means).  I finish 4 months and I’ve still got a long way to go.  But guess what?  A lot of those people started out with like 20 lbs to lose.  I have at least 100 lbs to lose!  But here is the good news – I had a small goal that came up about 2 months ago – “What if I could lose 50 lbs by the end of September?”  Well guess what!!???  I didn’t…  BUT I came close!  48 lbs down!  I was only 2 lbs shy of that goal, and he 50 lbs will come when it comes.  I have a tendency to see only what I didn’t do, rather than what I did.  I… Lost…  almost 50 fucking lbs in 4 months!!!  Could I really ask for that much more?

09/01/2012283.6
09/02/2012283.0
09/03/2012281.8
09/04/2012287.2(After Carb Nite)
09/05/2012286.0
09/06/2012284.2
09/07/2012282.4
09/08/2012283.2
09/09/2012281.8
09/10/2012280.8
09/11/2012287.4(After Carb Nite)
09/12/2012284.8
09/13/2012281.7
09/14/2012280.8
09/15/2012277.8
09/16/2012278.8
09/17/2012282.0(After Carb Nite)
09/18/2012281.2
09/19/2012278.6
09/20/3012279.0
09/21/2012278.6
09/22/2012275.6
09/23/2012282.4(After Carb Nite)
09/24/2012282.6
09/25/2012280.8
09/26/2012277.2
09/27/2012274.6
09/28/2012274.2
09/29/2012272.8
09/30/2012272.2

 

11.4 lbs lost this month – 47.8 lbs lost total!  2.2 lbs to my mini-goal.  4.2 lbs to hit my 10 year low.  268 was the lowest I ever got on HCG.  Once I pass this, I’ll be the lightest I’ve been since that mess about 4 years ago.

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