So… I walked in so set to plead innocent (because I am…). But then the prosecutor came over to go over plea deals and asked me about my “hit and run.” I said, “I didn’t hit her… She said I dinged her door, which I didn’t, but I can’t prove it.” She flipped through the file and then just looked at me and said, “Really??”
“Yup… Door ding…”
She said she can’t dismiss things, but she first wouldn’t classify this as a “hit and run.” She said she’d change it to Criminal Mischief (a general term they use anytime property is damaged and the proper resolution methods are not followed). She said she would recommend a plea in abeyance. I didn’t know what that meant – so she explained that it means it’s a “temporary guilty plead” until an agreement with the court is fulfilled. After everything is complete the charges all together are dropped, nothing hits my record and I’m 100% free and clear. This sounded great!! She said it carries a $100 fine. Still great.
I got up, pled guilty and thought to myself, “Fuck you door ding lady!”
“What about restitution?”
“We recommend restitution be open for 90 days.”
Wai… Uhh, what? Restitution? I’m not guilty! Oh shit! I just plead guilty! It was too late. Well… Christ. I guess I should have checked in more – the but bottom line is – they don’t record a hit and run with my insurance, nothing hits my record ever, and the worst of it is it cost me $100 and I may have to have her paint touched up.
I still hate her, and would love to watch her die slowly. Ok – that’s a little extreme. I want to watch her die. No… I don’t. I hate her but I don’t want to see her die. I just want to be told that she’s dead. Watching is icky. No… Death is a little extreme for all this. How about… No. I think death is fine. I just don’t want to watch. Maybe I do. No… Well, kinda.
So anyway – I don’t know if I made the right decision, but it sounded good. I hope this is all over soon. I paid my $100 – I just need to figure out her door. I hate you door ding lady. As quoted in the first episode of one of my favorite shows – “If there is any justice – she’ll be shoveling shit in hell….”