Fad Diets Suck – So Here Goes Another

Posted by jeresk on June 1, 2012 in It's Everybody's Fault I'm Fat |

Ok, so here is the deal…  I’ve tried so many fad diets…  Some I actually went on – some I just read about and ditched because I could either see through them or decided it just wasn’t something I could stick to…

I have always been chunky – but now I’m just fat…  I thought I was SO fat in High School!!!  But I really wasn’t – I was chunky.  Remember that Baz Luhrmann song song Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen? (awesome song) – in there he has a little statement that says “you are not as fat as you think you are…”  And I wasn’t!!!!  But I am now, so… Crap…  I saw this picture of me in High School and said, “Holy Crap!  I was HOT!  I would have totally had sex with myself!!!”  Well, I kinda said that – but it was dirtier…  But it’s true!  I had REALLY bad hair, but it was the 90’s – But what I wasn’t, was fat.

But I was sure I was and I stole diet pills from the local grocery store starting about 14…  I was so worried about my weight and not sure at all of how to take it off.  I ran about a mile a day, I would do push-ups, but I didn’t really know anything about working out so I just did whatever made me tired.  Then I started using meth – there is a longer story about that, but you can check out my other blog section for that…  One thing that I was promised was that I would lose weight – and BOY HOWDY did I lose weight…  It was a miracle!

I lost everything else too – but I was thin!!!  But I decided to take my life back and went to rehab – but in rehab I was eating again!  I hadn’t eaten in 7 years so everything stuck and I went up from about 200 lbs to 300 lbs in about 3 months.  When I got out of rehab my parents told me about Atkins – so I started the low carb thing.  My mom had always looked amazing, and my dad was never what I would call fat, but I remember him looking a little chunky too…  And then one day he walked in to visit me in rehab and his stomach was totally flat.  Like overnight!

So I cleared out every last carb and started my Atkins journey.  In 3 months I lost 80 lbs.  I was so happy!!!  It wasn’t hard because I lived alone and was never tempted…  But lo…  I am weak of spirit and constitution – I was so excited to move in with roommates!  I left my apartment and rented a couple of my friend’s basement and bam…  all of a sudden there were chips and sodas and pizza!!!  One of my roommates used to cook lemon bars like at least once a week…  Eventually I broke and then over the next 4 or 5 months gained every last lb back.  Then, my fat cells apparently wanted some more friends (they are so popular!) and I went up even further…

About 8 years ago I hit 330 lbs.  It’s been the benchmark I’ve used ever since – because usually when I gain, that is where I will stop.  Technically I have never been above 332 (that I’m aware of).  That is my all time high – but I have hit it several times.

So I started South Beach.  That lasted about 2 months…  It just didn’t work and I really hated the food.  I lost and gained about 10 lbs on that.  Then I read the Zone and Sugar Busters – my attempt was half hearted.

Then I went to Weight Watchers!  I stayed on that for about 4 months and lost about 30 lbs.  I was feeling pretty good, but I started getting sick of tracking and pointsing out everything.  I started “guessing” and that’s when I started falling back into old bad habits.

A few years ago someone told me about HCG and I was kind of excited!  It was going to be given to me by a doctor and would reset me at a new low metabolism!  I got it and started the shots and the diet and the weight just fell off me…  I lost 50 lbs…  But then I stalled – then my “round” was up and the weight started coming back.  I wasn’t going crazy, I was eating healthy and I was working out – but it just kept coming…

I should mention that for the most part, through all of this, I was working out.  I LIKE working out!  I know that is the downfall of many people – they won’t put in any exercise with their diet…  That has never really been my problem.  I enjoy it.  Sometimes I walk a lot, sometimes I will hit the elliptical for about 40 min a day.  Usually I would have a routine that would be cardio Tuesday and Thursday and weights on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  I learned a lot about working out and I would get looking better, but the weight would stay on…

I started to cycle back through all the diets – I would jump on Weight Watchers for a couple of months, then move to low carb, then move to HCG, then go back to low carb – I would lose between 10 and 15 lbs but never more…

Last year my darling husband Mikey ended up with a gallbladder issue and we found the only things that would NOT give him a full blown gallbladder attack was saltines and gummy bears.  He started losing weight – we started doing low fat together, mainly because anything else would bring pain.  But the weight started coming off both of us!  For a whole year we were eating low fat and I was down again about 50 lbs…

I then decided I really needed to quit smoking, so I did…  And the weight started coming back – I knew this would happen a bit, but I guess I was not at all prepared…  In 2 weeks I had gained 25 lbs.  I was so depressed!  Everything that I had worked for in the last year was coming back.  Half of it in 2 weeks…  4 weeks later I was back at 320…  I was doing great on the no smoking thing, but I was having trouble caring about it.  My heart was starting to hurt – I was having trouble sleeping again – I thought, “Wouldn’t this be ironic?  My decision to quit smoking is finally what kills me..”

So that brings us up to about now.  At the end of May 2012 my friend Annette had learned about “The Carb Nite.”  I kept saying, “God, I don’t want to do another fad diet…”  I am addicted to fads, and anything that makes the things that are hard in life sound easy.  As seen on TV?  Yes please!  I can clean my house while having fun?  I can slice tomatoes in seconds?  I can lose 200 lbs in 7 minutes?  I can build huge muscles with just 3 seconds a day?  These are the things I will always fall for…  But I keep trying not to!  So I was hesitant.  She lent me the book and I started reading – now this guy knows a lot – but here is the problem…  Every damn book says “And here’s why it works!” and then they use a lot of body chemistry and explain how things work and it all sounds great to me!  But in reality I have very little clue really if what they are saying is right.

What I liked was the Carb Nite guy was not a doctor, or a nutritionist, or anything like that.  He was a physicist.  He essentially was doing a low carb diet, and when he hit a plateau he got frustrated, ate a shitload of doughnuts and a few days later broke through and started losing weight again!

I had this same Spencerian but I guess I really didn’t know why…  The first time I did the low carb diet, I would average about 1 lb a day.  Then when I was down to about 250 I got stuck for like 2 weeks.  I got some cheesecake and ate it and gained 2 lbs.  But the next day the 2 lbs was gone.  The day after that, another 2 lbs were gone and my weight loss started moving again!  Every now and again I would eat something like that and my mom would yell at me!  “What are you doing!!?? That’s not on your diet!”  I told her it was my “stall breaker” (though I often wasn’t on a stall…).  She would roll her eyes and tell me I was being “bad.”  We would laugh about it, but when I started gaining weight I started feeling like “She was right – I really screwed up this time…”

But Mr. John Kiefer said the insulin spike is the key to keeping the fat burning going and ensure you aren’t burning muscle.  The REASON I gained so much more weight after some of my more successful fad diets was because I was focusing on “weight loss” and not “fat loss.”  At least, that is how he tells it…  Again, it makes total sense, but if another writer said, “And here is why he’s full of shit.  This carbon molecule reacts with the carbohydrate blah blah blah,” it would probably all sound really good to me too…

But nobody is saying that…  Most every diet I’ve tried has been called bullshit by Men’s Health (a rag I like to read and generally respect the opinions and reviews).  They have slaughtered all of them.  But then I found a small article written by them saying, “Really – if you want to lose weight, you need to be listening to John…”  Ok!  Well I will then!

And so starts my journey.  The promises here are – you will lose fat – quit focusing on weight…  Weight can be water, bones, fat, muscle, or about a million other things.  What you want gone is water and fat…

I’m going to be posting this journey here – but I’ll say this – if the posts just stop, most likely, so has my diet.  I’m going to be taking a picture every week – this is so I can see the changes.  Sometimes I can’t see the loss, and I don’t expect to just lose 50 lbs a month or anything, but I’m hoping that the changes are rapid enough to notice small differences month to month.

I WILL be making small alterations to my photos – I have taken start up pics for posting – first, I’m leaving out my legs.  I’m actually pretty happy with my legs anyway, but I am taking underwear pics and will be focusing on things above the waist for now…  I have SOME modesty!!!

I was going to blot out my face, but anyone reading this that knows me already knows what I look like, and anyone that doesn’t, doesn’t know me anyway and I doubt anyone will be like, “OMG!  It’s HIM!!!” if they see me on the street.  And if they do?  Why do I care?  Mainly I noticed I had a pimple on my belly and I don’t know why, but I was embarrassed, so I photoshoped it out.  Other than that, these will be untouched and not enhanced – this is just a journal of my progress.  The other thing is, quite often my face is where I show my weight loss best…  So here goes!

If you want to learn more about John and the stuff I’m doing, try looking at:


Fingers crossed ya’ll!!!

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