Jeremy and Mikey
By 2002 I had spent the last two years going on an endless string of bad dates. Eighty percent of the time, within three minutes of the beginning of the date I realized I had no interest in the person I had just met. Twenty percent of the time I was extremely excited to be with the person I had just met. That is, until I tried to set up the second date and found out I was part of his 80 percent. Prior to hitting the dating market I was in rehab for a crystal meth addiction. I spent 13 months trying to put my life back together. I know, how sexy would that have been to hear on a first date?
“Hi! Not but a few years ago I was a homeless meth addict – but even though the odds are that I will always be at risk of being a loser again, I think you should take a chance on me!”
Regardless, I actually had many things back on track – I was in school working on my bachelor’s degree, I had a job, and damn it, I was 23, hot and looking for love.
I was terrified of bars and clubs. I had spent so much time getting high in my old life while at those bars and clubs. People asked, “Where do you look for guys?” After I said I met men online, the guffaws were not far behind.
People would always tell me, “No wonder you keep ending up in bad dates!” But where was a guy who was scared of bars and clubs supposed to go to meet guys? I just didn’t know. Online was the only place I knew!
One day I saw a profile of a cute, blonde, smiling guy named Mikeypoo18. I figured he would be the next in my 20 percent and I had to give it a shot. I sent him a “wink.” Winks were safe – if they never winked back, you hadn’t exactly put your heart on the line – it was just to see if there was any interest. A few days later, I got a wink back! We spent about a week emailing back and forth – then another week on messenger. I was so excited to meet him. I asked if we could meet on a particular day. His response? “Uhhhh, I want to – but that’s the American Idol finale…” WHAT? I still tease him about that to this day – he swears the only reason he put it off was because he was having a finale party that was already set up – but it still makes him blush every time I tease him.
After the finale was over, he came and picked me up. We had no idea where to go, so we drove around for an hour trying to decide where to go. After we couldn’t decide on a place, and places were closing down – we decided to go sit on the lawn outside of a Barnes and Noble and just talk. We kept talking and, before we knew it, it was 4 a.m. We set up a second date and I realized ,no matter the percentages, I had just found the only one that mattered.
On Sept. 10, 2002, I was celebrating my third anniversary of sobriety and told him he was required to take me out. We went to dinner and a movie and, on this date, we had our first kiss. I started to joke the next year as I was having my fourth anniversary of sobriety that it was my fourth/first anniversary — four years clean, one year since our relationship was sealed with a kiss. Christmas of 2004, I wanted to keep the anniversaries together, and Christmas morning, I proposed on one knee with a diamond ring that we get married on Sept. 10, 2005. We both cried and hugged and he agreed to be my husband.
On my sixth/third anniversary, we got married at the First Unitarian Church of Salt Lake. Three years later, just before my nine years sober, six years with Mikey and three years of marriage, we had the opportunity to get married during the short window California allowed gay marriage prior to Proposition 8. We went to Los Angeles and got married again. This year we will be celebrating our 14th/11th/eighth/fifth anniversary! In case you lost count, that is 14 years clean, 11 years since we first kissed, eight years since our wedding and five years since we got legally married in California. Someday they will allow adoption here in Utah and both of us are excited to have a child. We’ll have more and more numbers to add on to our ever-growing string of anniversary celebrations.
We have lived in Eagle Mountain for the last six years and nothing is perfect and smooth. We have had rough times and arguments, but we have always stood by each other and worked through everything. We have been through unemployment and tight budgets, but we have never had a lack of love and support. While we have a lot of anniversaries to celebrate, our favorite to remember is our wedding in 2005 – surrounded by friends, and family and a chance to have the dream wedding neither of us thought would ever come. And all the percentages? I found 100 percent of what I want and need in my Mikeypoo.